As day and days go bye, i notice that i am not who i used to be. that anger and hatred inside of me is waiting to burst out. But i know that i shul be cool and now here is my life story....
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
3/4 thru my first song and it is going quite well just waiting for my sis to learn the guitar and my bro to learn the drum...need to wait appx 2yr sia...tis yr my bro psle then nxt yr my sis psle...by time i tink i make album already sia...hehe just kidding Btw while writing tis song i couldnt help thinking bout something and decide to get it of my chest and write it here...All the info is true.
29 November 2006 was the day that you said yes to me and i couldnt imagine how happy i was But it didnt lasted long 16 March 2007, My dear grandfather passed away I was sad and partially depressed But that wasnt the end...
A week later, During the raining monday you decided that we should go our separate ways... Words couldnt describe my emotions It wasnt just a blow but 2 ppl part of my life is gone...
So in this post i would like to express thing that i nvr say b4 or watsoever Yea i admit that you werent the one that on the first day of school ppl go like " OMG! Whos That?" And i admit that i treated you like any other student Until sec 2....i began to take notice. And somehow u did get my number first b4 i get urs
I still rmb that u told me that i was very irritating toward you ( You shuld trust ur frens when they say that when a guy irritates u, means they like ya ) I still rmb almost everyday when i start the talking by asking u wat was that days hw and tease ur fav anime character almost everyday just so i could get ur attn But then last yr we took a slightly diff route and didnt get to see that beautiful face as much as i can and i rmb i took a glance whenever i can and whenever i pass ur classroom
I still rmb that time when we became night owls and began to chat during the nite... I still rmb exactly that on the first school dae after hari raya...i sneak into your class and smuggle sumting under ur table It was a card with music and pop ups, and in it was a pair of teal cat earring and my feeling towards you... That nite u told me to wait And wait i did For a month i waited patiently and yes u gave as an answer
looking back now...That 4 months was more of a nightmare than of a beutiful memory coz to me...our separation happens to be my worst failure yet And yes i may look normal at school but at the bottom of my black heart, i was crying...crying over my stupidity and such Why black heart? Coz i had convert to my other self Yes his name is Iceruff He exchanged love with hatred And sadness for anger
But during that 4 months I admit i was a fool I was afraid to do simple stuff such as holding ur hands, keeping u warm and kissing u goodbye But here is wat i have to say You were the first and hopefully go on to eternity and i didnt wanted to screw it all up I afraid all these thing that i didnt do would have cause our separation But now i relised that those sweet thing that i could have done could have save our relationship
but i did try my best to keep you happy rite? On that day u went to bp u tot i was merely tagging along actually i was looking for a present to buy for ur sweet 16 And eventually u pick up this book that u like And here i go BINGO! Rmb on 14 feb, 1 day just b4 ur sweet 16 I bought u 3 rose and i'm sure u knew what they symbolize
I feel that i was very pathetic, wasnt bcoz u decide to break this relationship but bcoz i let you go to easily Only a few smses to be exact I was left there w/o knowing where i went wrong
Now its already September and its been 7 month since our breakup But honestly despite knowing that we are no more together I often look behind to see if u were there in school if u were ok And when it was raining heavily, i sometime walk pass you into the ran towards home despite having an umbrella I feel dumb not coz i was walking w/o an umbrella but i couldnt be there to sent u home
Ppl who read this may say that i was so emo and that i could get another gurl but no You were the only one Yes words are merely words Some ppl may change gfs/bfs like they change shirts everyday But it isnt easy for me I was the faithful one
Even if you were wrong, u were alwaes correct in my eyes Even if there were pretty girls everywhere, you were the most beautiful one Even if u act immaturely, I didnt think you were stupid but laugh along with you and join in Even if i was left with the last girl on earth, I would still want you Even if you tink i was boring coz i keep talking bout studies, Is bcoz i dun wanna us to destroy your bright future
I wouldnt set high hopes for this If you read this, i would like to say i'm sorry and hope u will walk thru my doors once again If not, I hope god will lead her here..
The end
Iceruff Yaagami Shynobi was wandering here at 9/19/2007 03:07:00 PM.
apathetic anarchist
Name: Muhammad Asraf Bin Mustaffa
Alias: Iceruff Yaagami SHynobi
death: 8th.Octorber.1991
age: 17
school: WVPS ---> ZSS ----> RP
email: as_raf@hotmail.com
handphone: nokia5300
abode: my domain is my territory
friendster: Iceruff [as_raf@hotmail.com]
WanTs
2nd Dan on my black belt
Electric guitar
Drum Set Good O level result
1st,2nd or 3rd placing in Pesta Sukan
Get a spot in POL-ITE team
Samicks Masters (Green) or Hoyt Helix (Green and black)
A Subaru wrx sti wif all the street modification
learn how to play both guitar and drums
Team RP jacket PSP
MM in VE